


Your breathtaking

by hypnos_a



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Jealousy, Karasuno, M/M, Nekoma, Please Don't Hate Me, Possessive Behavior, Slow Burn, Violence, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24811897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hypnos_a/pseuds/hypnos_a
Summary: At first Kei thought he loved them all, he thought they all loved him back.The more time passes, the more distant they grow.He wants out but knows he can’t.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Akaashi Keiji/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 12
Kudos: 150





	Your breathtaking

**Author's Note:**

> okay just a heads up- this isn’t a bright story. It’s shows a possessive relationship so if your sensitive to that kind of stuff please don’t read! Welp- here you go ,,

_“Look, we need you to do this one thing. It’s gonna be your biggest assignment, you think you could do that?” Daichi asked, raising his eyebrow and Tsukishima was quiet, the way he made it sound was way too pressuring. Why was he being picked to do this? He was touched that he was chosen to do this but he was weary of why, Daichi always chose the person wisely to go on an assignment. His assignments were usually trickery and he would always need the help of someone with technology skills, but it was only him on the opposite side of Daichi. He could be over exaggerating but something about this assignment seemed off compared to any he did, he didn’t like it._

_“I’m listening,”_

**_~~~~_ **

This was how things were now, whenever Tsukishima tries to start a conversation with any of them, they always say they're busy. Whenever he tries to take any of them on a date, they say their schedule is too busy or they just didn’t feel like it. The flame that once represented the love for them is now slowly dying and it worries Tsukishima, he couldn’t help but think what would happen to his family. Would there still be an alliance? There had to be, Bokuto, Kuroo, and even Akaashi got close to everyone in Karasuno, Karasuno has gotten so close to them as well. So he couldn’t help but be ashamed of his mindset, he’s one of the reasons why and how this alliance had started or is doing well, he’s been forever loyal to Karasuno and did whatever it took to make the bond stronger. He acted like a totally different person when he first met the three; he made his appearance seem more seductive, and his attitude even had to change for a moment. He was always loyal to Karasuno, when he was asked to join Nekoma or Fukurodani he went to Daichi asking if he was okay with that or even if he should, whenever he was allowed in a meeting or one of the two and someone shit talked Karasuno he shit talked that person back and even ratted out a fake associate to Karasuno. His loyalty was something that others admired, no matter what he would always stand by his family, _always_.

But right now he couldn’t help but want to be selfish, be selfish for himself once. He frowns and shakes his head and feels the guilt engulfing him, slowly. He sits and stares at his food, lately he’s been losing his appetite the more days past. He sighs and instead pokes at his food, despite being a meal he likes, it’s been getting bitter to his liking lately, he despises it now. “Kei, are you okay?” He hears someone ask him and he looks over his shoulder to see Akaashi, standing next to him and quietly he nods. ‘ _No I’m not. I’m tired of feeling worthless to all of you_.’ He thought venomously and looked back at his food, he took a bite of it and gave Akaashi the cold shoulder. Hoping that he doesn’t have to sugar code any longer that he doesn’t want to talk at the moment, but he stands there watching him. He has a cold gaze and the blond felt a chill go down his spine but he tries to ignore it. Hand carelessly touches his cheeks and he looks at Akaashi who now looks at him with a soft expression “Darling, your _breathtaking_ , I love you” Akaashi whispers softly and Tsukishima felt his hands travel behind him, since this whole ordeal he kept this mindset where he needed to give them what they wanted. It’s about them and not him.

_**~~** _

“ _This assignment is important and whatever they want you give it to them. Okay Tsukishima?” Tsukishima silently stares at the floor and he slowly looks up at Daichi, then nods. He kept the deadly mindset that it was always about them and not him, that he didn’t matter at all. He was just there, he was just there to provide whatever they wanted. Whatever and whenever. Never him, always them._

_He was unhappy with it. He hated the thought of being bound to this relationship, he wanted an escape. But it was never about him, it was for his family. Not him, his family._

_**~~** _

Unlike the other two, Akaashi was much more gentle but he was also more demanding. Kisses make way to his neck and he gives the other more access ‘ _Give them what they want,’_ He grips onto the table, of course it was left unseen from the other. “Up.” He orders. Whatever he wanted he got, his glare and tone were enough to make everyone listen to him and so he would always listen to him. He stands and their fingers intertwined together, he wouldn’t admit it but he always loved when any of them held hands, he missed this.

_**~~** _

_Suga smiles at him and Tsukishima just stares at himself, the fact that he had to wear makeup was already enough. “Don’t worry Tsukishima, If they ever hurt you we’ll make sure they regret it.” Suga's smiles faded and was replaced with a more dark one, he was always overprotective with the family, he was basically a mother to them all and for some reason he didn’t mind, he liked it._

_He was weird but still Tsukishima cared very much for him._

_“Mhm” He hummed in response and Suga smiles once again and stops to look at him._

_“You look absolutely wonderful! So breathtaking!”_

Breathtaking,

Breathtaking…

He learnt to hate that word, every time he heard it, it was always them who said it. Was it just the looks they ‘ _loved_ ’ about him? Maybe they are growing distant because he wasn’t as attractive, he was ugly to them, ugly.. he begins to feel insecure about his appearance

Tsukishima is laid out on the bed and watches Akaashi with half lidded eyes, every time he’s touched by his hands he feels as if he’s being burned. It wasn’t something that he once loved, no, they weren’t as lovingly as before but instead it was just filled with dirty lust. He wants him to stop but he was to provide for them. They were more superior than him, they all had the highest ranks and he didn’t, they were all more important when he wasn’t.

**_~~_ **

_Suga looks at him as they both sit together, he easily sees the doubt and regret Tsukishima holds and he knew he needed to help him. “Tsukishima, just hold a little longer. I promise that soon it will all get better,” Suga had his hand on his shoulder, Tsukishima stared at him coldly “How would you even know that.” He spat out and bit his lip. “Because, I met Daichi in this kind of way.. And I don’t regret it,” When that came out of Suga’s mouth he was shocked, never once had he ever imagined that the two started like this. Since it worked for them, could there still be hope for him after all?_

_**~~** _

His breath is shaking as Akaashi starts to kiss his legs and he goes higher and he wants him to stop. Akaashi goes up to Tsukishima’s face and smiles at him, he kisses his neck and has his hands on his waist. Then he spreads the blond legs apart, Tsukishima tries to hold on a little longer. “Simply beautiful.. _breathtaking_..” Akaashi huffs out and that was the final straw the blond had, after months of pathetic love he breaks- he snaps. He slaps Akaashi then throws him off, his breathing is uneven and his chest burns. He stands and grabs his robe then runs to the door. When he looks back he sees Akaashi holding his face where he was slapped, he looked stunned, shocked if that even just happened. Slowly he looks up to Tsukishima with an expression that makes him uneasy, a wave of anxiety runs through his body and that makes him shudder in fear “Keiji…” The name doesn’t feel right to say anymore, this whole relationship doesn’t feel right anymore. “I’m… sorry” Tsukishima apologizes and turns his back before running away, for once in his life, he runs like a coward.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” Tsukishima repeated over and over again as paces around the small room.

He knew he was gonna be in trouble either way. Bokuto was always protective around Akaashi and he just slapped him for what’s gonna seem like no reason, Akaashi is gonna give him a look when he sees him and gonna guilt him until he has to make it up to him, Kuroo was already pissy this week and hearing that his lover was slapped is gonna anger him more. If he goes to Karasuno Residents everyone is gonna know something is wrong and Daichi is gonna be pissed and Suga, well he’s gonna think that the three did something (he’s right). He was frustrated with himself, why couldn’t he have done better? He should’ve done better, it was his assignment after all. He stares at the door that leads to the backyard, he stares at the door and feels the pressure. A bit of him tells him to stay, the other to run.

So he runs, he runs and it felt great.

He doesn’t want to turn back and refuses to go back into that loveless relationship, he wants to let go and be free, happy. He wants his life back again but he knew it would be difficult to do that. His family and the ones who he loved were powerful people, he knew that but also knew all the important stuff. Once upon a time Kageyama explained to him once how he left his past behind him and started a new identity, surely if that idiot could do that he too can.

He wants and so desperately will try and start anew.

_**~~~~~** _

He was fine, he was happy, he was under a roof with someone who he found to love. Their love felt real and he was thankful for it, he once again found someone who made him feel alive. He couldn’t help but feel joy when he was given a ring, a promise ring. It was especially perfect when it was on a vacation of theirs, they were walking together and he was given a dinosaur, but inside it was a box. He opened it and was shocked, they explained what it was. And they were happy with it. They were committed to this relationship and that’s what Tsukishima all could ask for.

He was happy with everything that was happening. Everything.

But everything that is good has to end at a point. It happened when he was in the mall, he decided to get out of the house for once and just spent time looking at stuff to get. It was supposed to be a good time for him but it didn’t end well. He’s in a store and is looking at a few things that caught his eyes, he gets them and purchases them. He thanks the cashier once they hand him his bag and he walks out, strolling around “You know Father’s Day is coming up” He hears a familiar voice but assumes he doesn’t know the person and so he simply ignores it, he didn’t want to eavesdrop on whoever's conversation but his eyes go wide “Should I get Daichi something?” He then recognized the voice when he heard Daichi’s name, maybe it was extinct but the next thing he did was turn around to look at the person. He couldn’t believe his eyes of who he was staring at, Hinata looked tensed of his sudden movement but slowly calmed. His eyes widened once recognizing the blond, he was flabbergasted, it’s been a year since he disappeared and here he is, standing in front of him. He didn’t know what to say or do, but he couldn’t help but think.. ‘ _Why did you leave?’ ‘Why did you disappear?’ ‘Where were you?’ ‘Were you forced to hide?_ ’

“Hinata, Kenma…”

“Hey, there you guys are!” Tsukishima knows that voice very clearly and he begins to panic, ever slowly Kuroo comes into frame and he feels his hands shake, he wants to wither away once he meets Kuroo’s gaze. His eyes darken once he looked at Tsukishima, the blond still looked the same as he did before he lost him. His hair was a bit longer and he had a ring on, it was the first thing that caught his attention, a ring, _a fucking ring on his finger_. Tsukishima takes steps back before running for it, his heart is beating fast and hard. He hears his name being shouted, but that doesn’t stop him, he runs even faster. He bumps into random strangers but that doesn’t stop him. He runs like the coward he is, he runs like he did with that relationship he had with the three. He wishes he never bothered to look at Hinata, but he wanted to see his family again— he couldn’t though, if he did, who knows what would happen to him? He reaches the exit and feels relief wash over him, as the door opens he rushes out but he stops. Recognizable figures are blocking him and he can’t escape, he was trapped. No matter what he tried to do he knew that he would be caught, Nekoma wasn’t one to be messed with. He stands still and coldly stares at the members in front of him, Yaku has a grin, and Yamamoto returns the kind of look Tsukishima is giving him. Not so far he sees some other members, trying to look normal but it was obvious, especially Lev… stupidly the half Russian hides behind a tree that you could easily see him. He stares at his hand where the ring was, he couldn’t help but feel like a failure to them. The two promised each other that no matter what happens, they’ll stay together but Tsukishima sees the end of the relationship coming. He could only hope that they understand and are safe from the nasty side of Tsukishima’s life, his selfishness. A hand is on his shoulder and he doesn’t react, he stands still, looking at the ring that held his heart. A small smile appears on his face and he chuckles lightly.

“You found me,”

The hand on his shoulder grips even harder. He slightly flinches when he sees those eyes staring right at him, the ones that he once loved dearly. They were the same how he remembered them, harsh, and cold.

Tsukishima looks around and sees onlookers watching what was happening, how could they not? He clearly looked like he was in danger, two people were in front of him making sure he can’t escape, someone grabbing his shoulder and giving him the deadliest stare he’s gotten in forever- plus the way Lev looked… man he felt embarrassed for him. Then someone finally had the guts to walk up to him and they had a phone out “Hey, do you need help?” They ask then glare at Kuroo and he felt all the attention on him, he knew that if he said he did he would be in more danger. “No I don’t, but thank you for your concern.” He says calmly, the person then nods slowly but still suspicious about this, Tsukishima smiles at them and looks at Kuroo “Shall we go now?” He covers up and he nods.

He follows him and in the back of his mind he’s panicking, a car is driven up to them and he gets in. He tried to get comfortable but couldn’t, he was scared. Kuroo had his hand out, Tsukishima raised an eyebrow confused, “Your phone.” Tsukishima hesitatingly reaches for it then gives it to him.

The car starts and he stares out the window, thousands of thoughts are flying in his head, he doesn’t like it. _What was gonna happen to him…? Why is he doing this? Clearly he didn’t matter to any of them anymore, never did in a while.._ he bites his lips and can’t help but feel hurt. _He was always this stupid pawn_. Now either he becomes one again or he gets killed, if he’s being honest he much prefers the last choice. The car ride was long and it made his anxiety worsen, he’s stuck in his head, there was no talking or no music, just the unsettling silence. Then finally the car reaches to an end, the door opens for him and awkwardly he gets out, he tries his best not to look as sad and stupid but he fails. Once he sees the other two he almost starts to shake, he dreaded this moment, he wished this was some nightmare, once he wakes up he’ll be fine.

He sits in the room alone, he doesn’t really know what to expect, he’s been sitting alone for an hour and he’s getting more anxious ‘ _must’ve been their plan_ ,’ He thought and he closes his eyes, he keeps his breathing steady and just hopes that everything will be fine.

But once the door opened he slowly looked up and was in disbelief. Dragged into the room was his lover, the one who basically saved him was beaten brutally. Tsukishima immediately stood up and tried to get to him, “Stay down.” He was pushed onto the floor and his life was threatened by a gun pointing at his head. They continue hurting him and they force Tsukishima to sit there helplessly watching as he screams due to the pain but soon he goes quieter, slowly his life is being taken from him. And it wasn’t fair, he was a good man but Tsukishima had to ruin it, _he_ killed him. The light in his eyes slowly fades, he looks at Tsukishima with a lighthearted smile before he is kicked again, he grunts and he grips onto his side. Then a final gunshot ends his suffering.

Tsukishima covers his mouth, tears fall down his face, he must’ve looked so pathetic because all he did was look at the dirty floor and sob. The more seconds pass the louder his cries get, he didn’t care for his pride at this point, he was too heartbroken.

_what was special about you…?_

_what did you do to deserve this…?_

_Why does the world feel much slower now?_

He was selfish. He was the reason this all started, it was his fault and he had to accept he is dead because of him. He takes one more look at the person who he loved, he lays dead on the floor now and it pains Kei. He was so fucking selfish. His hand was grabbed causing Tsukishima to jump. He looks to see the ring being taken away and he tries to say something, anything.. but nothing came out. He watches as they stare at the ring and he doesn’t move, he can't do anything. Bokuto was the first to look at him and he wanted to look away but he wasn’t able to. He just helplessly stares at him.

His face is grabbed and gets pulled closer to his. “Don’t think you could leave us that easily,” the whispers in Tsukishima’s ear was dangerous and the blond blankly stares at the wall, tears still falling from his eyes. He nods slowly and that seemed to agitate him by the grunt he gets back, “Use your words.”

“…”

They glare dangerously at him.

“..Yes…”

He sits on the floor what felt like forever, he dares not to move or speak, he is stuck in his head with questions that he couldn’t answer. He hears footsteps near him but ignores them, he doesn't care about who is behind him. There in front of him now and they soon collapsed on their knees, he flinched.

“I’m sorry Kei”

They hug him tightly. And apologizes to him over and over again, they comfort him as he shakes.

“I’m so sorry I let this happen..”

‘Why are you sorry…? You didn’t do anything…’ He wanted to say but didn’t. Slowly he looks up where he knew the three stood, he looks at them deadpan. He had no more tears to shed. He felt empty inside, he didn’t feel right anymore.

“hope you enjoyed your revenge bastards,”

~~~

He sits on a balcony with a cigarette in hand, he stares off in the distance, of the beautiful city of Tokyo.

He reminisces about that moment of his life. It haunts him to this day but isn’t as bad as it was before. For about a year he was shaken up and refused to ever eat, or sleep. He smiles bitterly once he feels someone hug him from behind and feels a peck on his head, “Beautiful view isn’t it Kei?” Bokuto asked and Tsukishima looked at him with a grin.

“ _Breathtaking_ ,”

**Author's Note:**

> i don’t even know how to feel- it wasn’t even supposed to be dark but instead happy. Guess my hands slipped-  
> I started to write this in the middle of the night when I wasn’t able to sleep.  
> I was inspired by some songs-  
> Panic - Johnny Goth  
> Revenge - xxxtentaction  
> Moral of the story - Ashe  
> (yes i know i have an odd taste of music- bUt it was late in the night :’) jsdjdkf)  
> -  
> thismayormaynotbeamafiaau—


End file.
